Oinkers.....of course!
Well it’s 7:30. We are rolling through the Cherokee National Forest (also part of the Blue Ridge Parkway) heading towards Asheville . The sun is setting on this dense forest- that blue gray green forest- so thick you couldn’t cut it with a pinto bean fart. Mom is a stealth captain, for sure- I had no doubt- but she is SO little and this rig is SO big. So far, Pola and Hayward are playing well together in the pit- seamless teammates- for now. We arrived around 3 this afternoon. In this short 4 ½ hours, we have already consumed Chic-fil-A, a piece of blueberry pineapple crisp (that was still warm when we arrived at the house to pick up mom), ribs, pulled pork, Brunswick stew, cole slaw, texas toast, a bite of red velvet cake- and if that isn’t enough- I’m eyeing the boiled peanuts that are sitting in the sink. Did I mention that it's only 7:30?
Due to the fact that we were running late coming out of ATL, I thought we would need to forego any Q for the day, given we were supposed to make it to Asheville by sundown. Not 15 miles outside of Clarkesville, mom says “do we need to stop at Oinkers in Clayton?”, “Is it good?”, “Yeah, they have great ribs”, “Well of course we have to stop”. We discovered a few things to note on this first stop. 1) What time do you open? 2) Do you have room for an RV-one that we can’t back up.
Oinkers is of course a humble little log cabin-esque joint with rocking chairs lining the façade, to-go window and scores of overweight people filing in- filing out.Neal Crump- owner and smoker- runs out of his ribs by around 8. So get while the gettins good. Mom wasn’t kidding, the ribs were perfect. Hickory smoked but not too smoky- not sure how that’s attainable considering hickory is a pretty intense wood. Terry suggested that Neal probably just showed the racks to the wood- never leaving them long enough to court one another. Regardless, the pork was succulent, slid right off the bone with a nice marriage of tangy and sweet. The sauce- vinegar based, sweet with a little back of throat warmth.If Tabasco was actually worth a shit, it would taste like that. A bite of rib had to be immediately followed up with the slaw. The slaw, oh this kind of slaw is my favorite. Terry says “You like this kind? But where are the carrots”- Hahaha- as if throwing some color and beta-carotene into the mix was going to matter. The other side, which is always a must for me- when available, is the Brunswick Stew (BS). To anyone outside of the eastern section of the south, BS is relatively unknown. It is basically a tomato based stew with any number of vegetables (carrots, potatoes, lima beans, etc)-the meat can be anything from squirrel to pork (although if I’ve ever eaten tree rat in my stew, I didn’t know about it and don’t need to know about it-some things are better left unspoken). It is cooked down so much that there is barely anything recognizable, except for the corn they throw in for good measure- a little cula, ya know! This BS however, was a bit too much on the side of the tomato- I prefer mine a paler shade of puce.
So, Oinkers, of course this is where we would begin. I have a feeling we can and will live up to that.
We will hopefully meet up with our dear friends Wendy and Linda this evening upon arrival. I’m also hoping to see a sorority sister of mine I hadn’t talked to in 15 years, until 6 months ago. The air is crisp, the sky clear, bellies full (working on expansion), perfect day to start the tour.
I will also be including some nuggets we hear along the way. Some of them will most assuredly come from Dad- so you’ve been warned- he is a good man, but he is a southern man= he don’t know no betta.
Haywardism: “I’ve got Indian shorts on”
Translation : They just keep creeping up on you.
Do you see what we’re working with here. Oy.
One last find for the day- I ran over to the Mobil gas station for some ice when we arrived at the park. On the counter sat “Jerry’s Fried Peanuts”- oh my god. Not just the nut folks, the whole peanut, shell and all.
I didn’t buy any, but now I’m regretting that, so I’ll get some today and report back on Jerry’s nuts.
